Shared with us By Chip DeLorenzo, M.Ed.
Contributing Editor with the Montessori Family Alliance
Dear Mom or Dad,
As you know I’ll be starting school again real soon, and I can’t wait. I overheard you the other day saying to your friend that you can’t wait for school to start too. I’m glad you’re as excited as I am! It’s going to be a great school year, I can just tell.
Before we start school, I had a few requests that I wanted to make, so we can have a smooth start to the year. I’m getting older now, and I really need you help with a few things to make sure that I am becoming the person that I am capable of being. I know this is a really mature line of thinking, but I am really becoming more and more capable every day, and I really want to do my best.
Here are my requests:
Take Care of Yourself this Year
Mom, I really want to ask if you’ll take good care of yourself this year. I love you, and I need you to help me navigate a lot of new situations. I can do a lot, but I still need your help. Please make sure you get to bed on time this year! Remember last year when you kept getting up at the same time as me because you stayed up late watching Orange is the New Black? Sometimes you lost your patience with me because we were running late. When you get up before me you’re in such a better mood. When you’re not tired, you’re really patient and show me how to do things. You’re a really good teacher, and I think we can accomplish a lot together.
Take Time to Teach Me How
Mom, our teacher said that one of Maria Montessori’s most famous quotes is, “Help me do it alone!” She was pretending to be a child when she said that. I think she pretty much summed it all up with that one. I know it might look like I want you to do everything for me, but I really don’t. There are some things that I just don’t know how to do. When you show me how to do stuff, I feel like you really care, because it must take a lot of patience and focus to teach me how to do stuff when you have so much to do to keep me alive and well fed. It also helps me feel good about me, because I know you think I can do it, or you wouldn’t be showing me how. If you’re not sure what things I can be taught to do for myself, just ask my teacher, she knows. I do lots of stuff at school that you don’t know that I can do. The teachers teach us how to clean up our own lunch, sweep, mop, vacuum, do laundry, and cook. When I do these things myself I feel so proud of myself. If you can show me how to do some things for myself and our family, I can feel that way at home too. I really want to help, it helps me to feel like I’m important and can make a difference in our family.
Let Me Make Mistakes
I’m going to make a lot of mistakes this year. It’s OK, though, because at school they teach us that making mistakes is just an opportunity to learn. Sometimes kids at school get mad at each other, and they even say some mean things. I said a couple of mean things last year, too. But, our teacher helped us work things out, and I got to learn how to be a better friend. This is the way I learn.
You might want to plan in an extra 10 minutes into our morning routine, because some of the things you taught me before I might have forgotten about. Remember when you showed me how to put my lunch by the door so I wouldn’t forget it, then I forgot to put it by the door, and left it at home. I do that a lot when I’m learning. It’s OK, though, you can trust me. I’m just as concerned about these things as you are, if you let me be. You can let me experience what happens when I make mistakes. Our teachers call this natural consequences. It means that the adult just lets us have our own experiences, like letting us get chilly when we forget to put on our coat. When you let me make mistakes and don’t rescue me, I get to make the lesson my own lesson, and I learn it for me. Remember, that’s why you sent me to a Montessori school!
If you want to do what we do in school, when we make mistakes we can talk about them and make a plan for next time. My teacher makes mistakes sometimes and she always talks about them. It makes me feel better because I know I don’t have to be perfect. You can try it too. Remember when you got mad at that man when you were driving the other day, and said some bathroom words. If you do that again, you can just tell me that you made a mistake, and then we can figure out what to do next time.
Make Routines and Decisions with Me (Not for Me)
Maybe we can create our routine chart together this year? I’m starting to get a little older now, and I’ve got some pretty good ideas. Our teacher always lets us help make the rules and routines in the classroom. It really works. We have some very good ideas, and I like to do things more when I helped make the plan. Sometimes my ideas won’t work out, but that’s not really a problem, because we can always go back and see what went wrong and how to fix it. Last year at school, we kept tripping over each other when we were trying to get outside for recess. The teacher asked us what we thought was causing the problem, and we realized that there were just too many people trying to get outside at the same time. So, we figured out that if we came to circle first, and then went out one at a time, no one would get tripped over. We can do the same thing at home. Remember last year when we kept getting to school late because it took so long to decide what to have for lunch? I wonder if it would work better this year if we made our lunches the night before. I bet we can figure it out.
I can’t wait for school to start. Maybe we can go out together to do some school shopping? We could make a list of what we need and then go on a mission! I feel really important when we do things together, even if they’re chores.
Well, I’ve got to go back outside and enjoy the rest of my vacation. I’m so glad we can’t wait ’til school starts!
Developing Capable Children, Chip DeLorenzo, M.Ed.
44 Deer Meadow Lane,
Jefferson, ME 04348
207-380-3465
chipdelorenzo@gmail.com
