Instead of spoiling your grandchildren with material things, try creating lasting memories by planning engaging activities and outings. What your grandchildren really need is your time, attention and focus. The special time they spend with you will create warm memories that will last a lifetime.
The best times I have with my granddaughters are spent creating lasting memories. When I became a grandparent, I promised myself that I would not fall into the trap of spoiling my grandchildren as a way of life. I didn’t do that with my children, and I had no intention of doing it with them. Instead, I would always focus on devoting quality time and energy, being totally present and just enjoying them whenever I could. Living 1,500 miles away doesn’t always allow me to have visited as often as I’d like, but when we do, it’s always a wonderful time.
Blakely Jayne (now 4 ½) and sister, Raegan (almost 2), recently came down from Rochester, New York, for their annual weekend alone with us while my son-in-law spent the weekend with his granddad. I look forward to this weekend all year long, and it’s a win-win for everyone.
Here in Southwest Florida, we have mild weather during the beginning of December, so lots of outdoor activities are always planned. And, we don’t need to spend money to have a fun time. This year, my friend Eileen, a long-time Montessori directress and recently retired owner of several schools, planned a scavenger hunt for us on Sunday morning. Blakely had never gone on one before and was most intrigued by the activity.
When we arrived at Eileen’s house, she bent down to their level, shook hands with them both, and introduced herself. It had been over a year since Blakely had seen Eileen, and this helped her reconnect. This also helped when Eileen began to explain what we were doing.
She then handed them each a shopping bag with a handle for all the items we’d be scavenging. On each bag, she had drawn the outlines of the items. Then she wrote out the word next to it. Since Blakely is just beginning to recognize words and read a bit, we went over each item before we headed out. Eileen kept the list just long enough to hold their attention and had made sure that it was not so complicated that they’d never be able to find what was on the list. She had scoped out the area around her block to ensure the girls would be able to locate the items so that the experience would be a joyful one.
Everyone was most excited to get started, and off we all went. Raegan took notice that Blakely was jumping up and down, anxious to get underway, and her enthusiasm was most contagious and she, too, started to jump up and down. Blakely is a wonderful role model for her younger sister, and Raegan just loves doing all the things older sister does as well.
Along the way, we explained that the berries we were finding were from a holly tree, that twigs were small branches that had fallen off of trees and, that some of the items didn’t have to be real, such as the frog—since lawn ornaments are quite popular here in Florida! There were two kinds of leaves on the list, smooth and serrated. Each time we found a leaf, we discussed whether it was smooth-edged or serrated, being careful not to prick ourselves. Blakely loved saying the word, “serrated” and kept seeing if each bush or plant or tree we passed had this kind of leaf.
We walked for about 40 minutes before we had collected all of the items on the list. This was just long enough that both girls were totally engaged in the hunt, asked a lot of great questions, pointed out many things, and had a great time. We thanked Eileen and went home.
When we got home, Blakely decided that she wanted to spread out all the items in her bag and decorate them with paints. So we just let her creativity take over and again, Raegan followed suit. She decided that all of her treasures would be her gifts to her mom and dad for giving her all the things she had in this world. She then packed her things up so she could give them to mom when she arrived back home. It did my heart a world of good to know that she was thinking along the lines of being grateful.
The next morning, when we went on our morning stroll, she asked if we could do another scavenger hunt. She then proceeded to recall every item on the list (including Eileen’s name) and asked if we could start back at her house, so she’d be sure to find all the items once again. This is, in my opinion, a wonderful gauge as to whether or not a time together has been successful with a grandchild: we engaged in wonderful dialogue about nature; we were outside in the fresh air; Blakely helped her younger sister collect all the items without resistance; they both learned some fun facts about leaves, trees, and rocks; they were both grateful to their parents;and our time together was fun for all.
Even though I don’t spoil my grandchildren with ‘things’ and don’t rush to buy the biggest or shiniest toys for holidays, I do love to buy what I can for them, so I help pay for things like swim lessons or a week or month of school. Grandparents may have that option, and I hope that instead of a gift that is ripped open, played with for a few minutes, and then discarded, you will consider other options when it comes to interacting with your grandchildren.
Tomorrow’s Child / January 2015 / p 27
