By Dr. Bonny Olney
If you attended public school growing up, you all remember “the film” we watched in fourth grade, boys in one room and girls in another. For us girls it was all about female anatomy and this complicated graph of the menstrual cycle. (I also remember being pulled out and disciplined for giggling through the movie.)
After “the film” I don’t recall any further discussion going on with the teachers regarding these topics, and that was about it for sex education until high school.
As a mother of two children I opted for Montessori education starting at age 2, to give my children a more comprehensive and enriching education than I was afforded in public school.
As a family physician I have been surprised by the absence of sexual education in private schools, both Montessori and traditional. These kids didn’t even get “the film!”
We have had many meetings at our school, debating how to cram all the enriching subjects into what feels like a very short period of time, and I think “sex-ed” is just not on the radar screen for most parents and educators.
I have a sister who teaches eighth grade in a public school. In her career, she has had to deal with pregnant students, drug use, sexual abuse, and suicide. These things just aren’t issues in our Montessori school, even though our school goes through eighth grade.
The Montessori curriculum itself creates an environment where pubertal issues are more protected. At our school, I notice that the teachers know each child so well, that when issues about menstruation, boy-girl tensions, and mood swings come up, they are on top of it. They have even kept “cliques” from forming in our group of pre-teen girls, which is no small feat! So, why do we even need “sex-ed?”
I believe that teaching adolescents how their bodies function is as integral to the Montessori philosophy as spooning and pouring are to toddlers.
Many of us grew up with parents who were not exactly comfortable talking about intimate issues. Today when I talk with parents who are well educated and very involved in their children’s education, I still find them to have a high degree of discomfort when discussing health and sexuality with their children. They often avoid even basic issues such as menstruation and nocturnal erections, which are part of normal human development. Why we find it important to teach children fine motor skills, but not the care of their bodies, is perplexing.
I think the answer lies in the realm of moral and social behavioral boundaries. When you say the phrase “sex education,” many parents and educators start squirming in their seats. They have very appropriate concerns about their school teaching moral values that might not coincide with their family or their culture.
I feel that we need to look more at teaching “health education” to include education about human sexuality. I often counsel teenage patients that my job is to teach them what is healthy and what is harmful, both for their physical and emotional well-being. I further tell them that what they decide to do with that information will be based not only on their own desires, but on the framework of their cultural and personal morality. I have found several different models for health education which all promote positive self-image, and in the case of sexual activity, abstinence, for physical and emotional health. They help teach kids the facts about the risks of sexual activity, as well as coping strategies to keep others from influencing their decisions, who may not have their best interests in mind. It’s important to teach kids that with puberty comes a new set of feelings and desires that are normal for all of us. How we choose to act on those feelings defines who we are.
I realize that all schools struggle with trying to give the highest quality of education to their students and that adding yet another class to the curriculum is not always possible. I would suggest that we all consider using some sort of program, even if it is short, to include health education at our schools. You may even want to provide it as an after school elective or weekend conference. If you ask your parents how interested they are, you might be surprised at how many would welcome the idea. There are several programs I would recommend to consider, and I have included the names and web sites here.
1. “Worth the Wait” – This is an abstinence based program started by Dr. Patricia Sulak. I have met her and attended a program presented to physicians. This outstanding program comes prepackaged for each age group and can be used for a comprehensive curriculum or a limited seminar. They provide the program in paper format, slides and power-point presentations. There are programs for kids and also for parents.
www.worththewait.org
2. Discovery School – this is an individual curriculum plan that the Discovery School has produced. Go to the website and select “lesson plans”, then “health”.
www.discoveryschool.com
3. You can also search the website of your state Teachers Education Association for more links and information.
Dr. Bonny Olney practices medicine in Dallas Texas. Her children attend the Westwood Montessori School in Dallas.
